https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/addiction-and-recovery/201907/stop-seeking-validation-others

Will Making More Money Make Me Happy?

The pursuit of happiness is one of the most fundamental human desires, yet it has proven to be an elusive goal. Despite our best efforts to accumulate wealth, achieve success, and acquire possessions, we often find ourselves feeling empty and unfulfilled. In fact, studies have shown that once basic needs are met, additional wealth does little to boost overall satisfaction with life. This paradox raises important questions about what really makes us happy, and how we might go about finding lasting fulfillment.
In this article, I will explore some possible reasons why money doesn’t buy happiness. I will begin by discussing some key factors that contribute to the relationship between wealth and wellbeing, before moving on to examine the role of external validation and self-esteem in our lives. Next, I will provide a brief history of the pursuit of happiness, highlighting some of the common pitfalls associated with this endeavor. Finally, I will offer two potential paths forward for achieving true contentment and fulfillment.
It may seem counterintuitive, but research suggests that increasing wealth beyond a certain point does not necessarily lead to greater happiness. Known as the “Easterlin paradox,” this phenomenon was first identified by economist Richard Easterlin in the 1970s, who found that while individuals in richer countries reported higher levels of life satisfaction than those living in poorer nations, there was no corresponding increase in happiness within individual countries over time.
One explanation for this paradox lies in the concept of adaptation—the idea that we become accustomed to our circumstances, including both positive and negative events. As a result, we tend to return to a baseline level of happiness relatively quickly after experiencing significant changes in our lives, whether good or bad. For example, someone who wins the lottery today might report being happier than they were yesterday, but their long-term satisfaction with life could actually decrease over time due to the stress of managing all that newfound wealth.
Another factor contributing to the relationship between wealth and happiness is the way in which we spend our money. Researchers have found that spending money on experiences rather than material goods leads to longer-lasting increases in happiness and overall wellbeing. This is because experiences tend to create more meaningful memories and social connections, whereas material possessions can quickly become obsolete and lose their novelty. Additionally, spending money on others (rather than ourselves) can also promote increased feelings of happiness and purpose.
Our brains are wired to respond to pain and danger much more intensely than to pleasure and reward, leading to an inherent bias towards negativity and suffering. This tendency can manifest itself in various ways throughout our daily lives, including when we consider the concept of happiness itself. For instance, many of us believe that happiness is something we must actively seek out through external means, such as acquiring possessions or seeking recognition from others. However, this approach to happiness is misguided, as it relies upon external validation rather than cultivating inner contentment.
When we rely too heavily on external validation for our sense of worth and identity, (just look at social media) we run the risk of becoming overly attached to these sources of approval. This attachment can cause us to feel anxious or depressed if we do not receive sufficient praise or admiration from others. Moreover, since external validation is ultimately outside of our control, it can prove difficult to maintain a stable sense of self-worth based solely on such factors. Instead, we should focus on developing internal sources of self-validation, such as building strong relationships, learning new skills, and engaging in meaningful work.
Throughout history, humans have sought to find happiness through various means, ranging from religious devotion to political power. One common thread connecting these pursuits is the belief that happiness lies somewhere else—whether in heaven, in the hands of the gods, or in the favor of the masses. However, this search for happiness outside of oneself is fundamentally flawed, as it places responsibility for our contentment elsewhere rather than taking ownership of our own lives.
There are two distinct paths forward for achieving true fulfillment and happiness. One path involves seeking external validation and material possessions, while the other involves cultivating spiritual growth and personal development. While the former approach may promise short-term gains, it ultimately falls short due to its reliance on external factors and lack of emphasis on internal growth. On the other hand, focusing on personal development and spiritual growth can lead to sustained happiness and fulfillment, even in the face of adversity.
One reason why spiritual growth can lead to greater happiness is that it allows us to transcend our limited perspectives and connect with something larger than ourselves. Whether through meditation, prayer, or simply appreciating nature, spiritual practices can help us tap into a deeper sense of meaning and purpose in life. By doing so, we can move beyond the confines of our own ego and gain a broader perspective on the world around us.
Additionally, personal development can lead to improved mental and physical health, stronger relationships, and greater resilience in the face of challenges. This is because personal development requires us to confront our weaknesses and limitations, and to take active steps towards improvement. Through this process, we build character, develop new skills, and gain confidence in our abilities. All of these traits are essential components of happiness and fulfillment.

Here are some key factors that have been highly researched to provide long term happiness:

1. Gratitude – Having a positive outlook and appreciating the good things in your life can increase your overall sense of wellbeing.
2. Social relationships – Spending time with loved ones and building strong connections can help boost happiness.
3. Meaningful activities – Engaging in hobbies, passions, and activities that give you a sense of purpose can add fulfillment to your life.
4. Psychological flexibility – Being able to adapt to change and handle stress without becoming overwhelmed can lead to increased happiness.
5. Self-acceptance – Loving yourself as you are, rather than trying to be someone else, can improve your self-esteem and overall happiness.

Finally, the pursuit of happiness need not be a futile exercise. Rather than relying on external sources of validation or material possessions, we can focus on cultivating internal strength, wisdom, and compassion. This path may require patience, effort, and dedication, but it offers the only reliable route to lasting fulfillment and joy.

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